Profile triage, now open
Brutally honest.Better matches.
Upload your dating profile for a free roast worth screenshotting. Then turn the wreckage into a profile that actually starts conversations.
Your chart
Roast
Rebuild
Openers
Roast complete
Your profile called. It needs help.
The diagnosis
Three gym selfies, one group photo where you're possibly the lamp, and a bio that says “just ask.” We have questions.
Share-ready card
The funny part is the funnel.
The procedure
Upload. Roast. Share. Rebuild.
No generic dating advice. Just a fast, funny diagnosis and a clear path to a better profile.
- 01
Upload the evidence
Drop in screenshots of your profile. Private by default, always.
- 02
Get the roast
Receive a sharp, clever diagnosis of what your profile is broadcasting.
- 03
Share the damage
Download a branded card your group chat will immediately have opinions about.
From roast to recovery
Laugh first. Then fix the profile.
The free roast is the wake-up call. The paid rebuild gives you the copy, photo order, and openers to do something about it.
Rewritten bio and prompts
Recommended photo order
Opener ideas that sound human
Clear keep, cut, and retake notes
Paid profile rebuild
$19
Profile Transplant
For when the roast hit a little too close to home—and you want a profile that can carry its own conversation.
See the rebuildBefore you scrub in
Questions from the waiting room
Your profile has seen enough. Let's operate.
Get the free roast, share the evidence if you dare, and rebuild when you're ready. No fake promises. No public posting.
Roast my profile